A Darker Side
by palepetalsdillutedcolor
Summary: Allen, the golden boy at Dark Order High, has finally piqued Kanda's interest after catching him with a suspicious cigarette. He allows Kanda to get closer to him, but this leads to a chain fall of events as mask after mask is pulled off Allen, revealing something that should've stayed hidden forever... Warning: Mature scenes, Yullen, Arekan, angsty scenes later.
1. Meeting of a Perfect God

**A/N: This is my first fic and yes, I updated every single chapter and added in new ones *****_gomenasai_***** I'm ****_really_**** sorry I couldn't update but you probably aren't interested in my personal life but if you want to know, I was at a funeral, flew to Nevada, flew to Korea, typed an essay, and was caught up on my manga. I reread everything and came to the conclusion that I was an ****_awful _****author, so that's why I redid everything. Thanks for reading even though it's been a (****_really long_****) while! Reviews appreciated as always!**

Disclaimer: Yes, it's_ Yaoi_, with _sex_ and_ BL_. Mature themes and it gets pretty depressing. Speaking of depressing, **I DON'T OWN OR IT'S CHARACTERS**! NOOOOO! But this story is _mine_, as awful as it is. Don't you dare touch it or _you'll be screwed_.

It was another wonderful autumn day in Japan and the leaves were beautiful, especially the ones in front of the school. The bell chimed and a rush of students flowed out of the front doors in order to enjoy the rest of today, maybe go tree-viewing or something loser-ly similar. I, on the other hand, slipped my way through halls as people greeted me and wished me a great day. A few people even had the nerve to stop me and strike up a conversation. I hate small talk. I dismissed them with a bright smile and the _I'm-really-busy-right-now-talk-later-kay-bi_ excuse. Right. I slipped out of the school through the back exit and I exhaled, the suffocating air of etiquette and companionship gone. It was empty, quiet, and peaceful. The only things that exist here are beautiful leaves and myself (nobody bothers sweeping the back of the school). Perfect.

I slumped down to the floor, leaning back on a wall and swung my bag off my shoulder. I neatly stacked all my belongings in a pile next to me and reached into the now-empty bag. Groping for the bottom, one of my gloved fingers got caught the false bottom and lifted it. My secret stash was contained in a plastic ziplock bag and I opened it, revealing a pack of home-made meth cigarettes, courtesy of one of my customers. I reached into my back pocket and got out my lighter, the last gift Cross gave me, right before he dumped a huge stack of debts and bills in my lap, chucked a hammer at my head, and left. I still have a scar from that.

Hands shaking slightly, I flicked the lighter once and a small flame instantly appeared, like magic. The white gloves only made it seem more unreal. I passed it over my cigarette and as I rested it on my lips, I took a small breath. I could feel the hazy smoke passing down to my lungs, and exhaled, creating a small poof of smoke, streaming from my mouth. _It felt good_.

_Drugs_, _lighters_, and _lying_; the three absolute rules that Dark Order High _cannot_ tolerate. I'm breaking them all.

Sucking in a loooooong drag, a heavy sort of calm rested on my mind. This was a small, personal victory reward for only going high 6 out of the 8 hours of school. I took a short rest from being crazy during lunch and art, my two favorite periods. The rest, screw it, my withdrawals are painful enough, even without an hour-long lecture on the beauty of the chemical bonds of nitrogen.

My left arm twitched a little spastically and I gripped it while I took a deep breath. Smoke clouded the air and while I knew my eyes were slightly clouded from this temporary peace, I squinted at the eye-watering grayness and wrinkled my nose. To be honest, I don't like the smell of smoke and I always wash my clothes with strong laundry detergent because the thick, cloying, smell always hung over me. Also, I can't let anyone find out that I'm an underage smoker, right?

As I was zoning out and contemplating the color of leaves that lazily fell off the surrounding trees, I heard footsteps. Suddenly, the back door slammed open and before I knew it, Kanda was in front of me.

"What the hell?!" I yelled in frustration as he snatched my ethereal peace from my fingers and dropped it on the floor. With each slam of of his heel connecting to the cigarette, it became more and more disfigured to the point where it was all but nonexistent, along with my high.

I could smell flowers around him, but I couldn't quite put my finger on which type it was.

"Jeez, it was just a cigarette, no big deal, BaKanda, it's not like you've never seen one before. I just wanted to try one."

I slid on a surprised, but guilty look, as if I was a naive child who was trying out drugs for the first time. This is the second time I had to use this look, the first on Lavi, who had walked into me on the very first day of school, just as I was about to leave towards the back. I wasn't very careful back then and my lighter had flown out of the side pocket of my bag. I told him I had found it on the streets and it looked pretty cool and antique. Of course it worked, Allen, as good as gold, would never lie to anyone, including his new best friend, Lavi. But this is Kanda.

"You know this isn't a drugstore brand, right? And it looks like you're pretty experienced too. Most people would be hacking out a lung if it was their first time. Don't lie to me or give me that good boy crap that you use on everybody else." He hissed into my face, but I remained calm, widening my eyes just for show because a good boy would be shocked at any rant Kanda gives (which is very often, I must say. I mean, he goes and whips his security sword whenever Lavi or anyone pisses him off. I swear, I heard from Noise that he didn't have a security blanket as a kid, but he had this katana that he found lying in one of his family storerooms. But I guess I can't tease him about it, not when I had a security gun I used to sleep with).

"So what if I was? What's it to you?"

He seemed slightly taken aback as he took a step back from me, allowing me to breath a little more. Just as I was thinking that maybe, just maybe, he was starting to use his brain, his eyes hardened with something I couldn't recognize. It makes me uncomfortable when I can't read people, and he was starting to scare me.

"It's for Lenalee," he stated. They were childhood friends and she's the only one who can order him around (along with a touch of blackmail) "She's going to start crying when she finds out that you're a smoker when you shove your tongue down her throat." How crude.

"Kanda, we aren't dati-" "_Shut it _moyashi,_ everyone_ _already kno-_"

"I'll _shut up_ if _you_ shut up about that."

"I won't shut up until you tell me exactly what you were smoking and where the hell you got it. Did a stranger just offer it to you and you took it? It could be _arsenic_ for all you know, baka!"

"Kand-"

"TELL ME MOYASHI!"

He blew up and I felt my expression slide a little, his eyes instantly locked on to my face, just as good Allen's body flinched from his tone, as if he was waiting for the right moment to see how I was really feeling.

He noticed my mask?

I had no idea what was going on except that a storm was brewing on his normally stoic stone-of-a-face and that all that chaos was heading right for me. We weren't even friends. I mean, unless you count me and him punching Lavi together, we were as opposite as black and white.

He was _perfect_, not a single blemish on his skin. Beautiful silky hair (I must admit) and a model's face, tall and slender, he was the definition of a perfect being. His only tragedy being his facial expressions that he chose to express to the world (and his personality), he was flawless in all other aspects. I mean, _come on_, photographic memory and athletic powers, not to mention all the skills he had? It wasn't fair to the rest of the normal population.

Compared to him, I was a prisoner who was bashed around a grocery market full of angry moms because he had taken the last heads of cabbage on sale and then shoved in the gutter, bitten by gigantic sewer rats, infected with the bubonic plague, and then beaten up by the mafia and dumped on the roof of a police station which was unfortunately run by ex-gang members and thought it best to physically restrain a convict who was charged guilty of harming government property*the roof* and was delivered a life sentence in the nastiest prison every, and he had to share cells with four other inmates who were real convicts that enjoy sadistic pleasures.)

White hair (admirably fluffy, I'm pretty obsessed with hair, it's almost a fetish), a disfigured arm, permanently injured eye, scars lacing all across my body, and a thin, malnourished body (I probably eat at least thirty times the norm and I could still fit in a barrel of oysters and three pies, it's really strange.). I was the absolute opposite of flawless.

Kanda's bristling hair finally relaxed, but he still loomed over me.

"Tell me everything."

We weren't even the most distant of friends and we could never be, but why did he care so much?

If I tell him everything, will he stop? A curiosity satisfied is better than him dogging me for next few weeks, right? Or months, if his stubbornness holds true. It's not even like he has anybody to spread my secrets, or for the matter, believe him.

...I think I've made up my mind.

If Kanda wants to know more about me, fine. _I'll tell him everything_.


	2. Death Machine

**A/N: Updated all chapters as mentioned in chapter 1 (read for proper A/N) and reviews always appreciated!**

I saw Kanda waiting impatiently at the parking lot of the Asian Branch Co. SuperMarket, just like I told him to. He was reading a book (my normal eye read out, "Great Expectations") but every so often he would look up and scan the area for a certain someone. Me? I was on my awesome black motorcycle and my face was hidden behind a black-ivy patterned helmet. On top of that, I was wearing all black leather (baby cows? Whatever, and it cost me a small damn fortune. Damn baby cows.) and I was quickly pulling in.

His expression was priceless when I skidded up right in front of him, an inch short of killing him. He threw his book at me on reflex and when I pulled my visor up, I saw his eyes widen in surprise, but it quickly went back to glaring.

"I suppose this is your first time on a bike too, Beansprout."

"Maybe. Get on."

"On that death machine?! No way in _hell _am I going on that ..._thing_, no less with you."

"Fine, BaKanda. See you later."

I pulled my visor down and had gone about three meters when I saw him running after me in the reflection of my side mirror. I slowed a little and he jumped on. His hands flailed for a few seconds and then he grabbed the edge of the seat. Stupid.

"Grab onto my waist, it's a lot safer."

"Do you think I want to grab on?!"

"Well, you're probably going to fall off if you keep your_ hands to yourself_ for a few more seconds,_ pansy._"

After a pause, he hesitantly wrapped his arms around my waist, no tighter than necessary, and I felt his breath on my neck. I could smell flowers again, only stronger. The wind rushed into his hair and when it got a little colder, I felt him draw a little closer to me. The wind doesn't really have a smell, but it's wild and pure and that's probably why I enjoy biking. Scenery rushed by us and it felt like it was just Kanda and I on the streets. We were quiet for a really long time.

"Beansprout, _where the hell are you taking me?"_ He just _had_ to ruin it.

"_SHUT UP BAKANDA! YOU JUST KILLED THE MOMENT!"_

_"WHAT MOMENT? ANY MOMENT WITH YOU MEANS DEATH!"_

_"I'M NOT THE ONE WITH THE STUPID SWORD! YOU COULD KILL PEOPLE WITH THAT STUPID THING!"_

"_DON'T CALL MUGEN STUPID, BAKASPROUT! AND YOU'RE THE ONE WITH THE DEATH MACHINE! HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU RUN OVER?"_

_"LESS PEOPLE THAN THE AMOUNT YOU KILLED WITH YOUR BLOODY SWORD!"_

We bantered back and forth for the rest of the trip when I suddenly turned into an alley and stopped. I literally smelled rubber burning and Kanda face connected to the back of my helmet, effectively cutting off whatever profanity he was about to utter. I took the key out quickly and jumped off the seat while Kanda was holding his cheek and glaring at me. Helmet off, I simply hung it off the handle bars.

"Baka Moyashi, people are going to steal it." I snickered at that comment.

"Steal_ my _stuff_?_ Don't worry about it."

"But someo-"

"_I said, _don't worry about it. The last person who stole my bike ended up with all the skin on his face peeled off and his hand cut off. I'm pretty sure the hand's nailed on one of the bars here somewhere..."

He grimaced, probably imagining the gruesome image in his head, but shook his head. Clearing his head of dark thoughts? How cute.

"Anyways, Beansprout, where the hell are we going?"

"A place I know."

"I get that, baka. Now tell me. Where the _hell_ are we going?"

"A place in town."

"GOD I hate you, I don't get what everybody else sees in you."

I abruptly stopped.

"This is the downtown area where we live and I highly recommend you shut up before attract attention and get mugged. Just stick with me and you won't get screwed into a wall, alright?"

I started walking again and quickened my pace so that Kanda would have to hurry slightly as I felt his eyes on the back of my head.


	3. Beginning of an End

**A/N: Yes, I did change it. So what? Deal with it. Reviews appreciated~**

So my plans for Kanda are simple. Show him where I work, show him where I live, and hopefully his curiosity (because there's no way he cares, now that I think about it) will simmer down and he'll leave me and my mask alone. First comes my job.

We were turning a lot and I was slipping inside the shadows, avoiding what little light the moon provided. Kanda boldly jogged in the light, his skin seemingly glowing. I turned a sharp corner and saw the abandoned bar where I stowed extra clothes and such. It was my territory and I marked it with my insignia, a white masquerade's mask on the door. I entered and Kanda quickly followed, squinting at the darkness. It smelled old and woodsy in the good way, like a vintage wine that was aged well.

I have perfect night vision from all those years serving under Cross, stealing and pilfering goods in the dead of the night. Kanda was stumbling around and gripping a windowsill, so I grasped his wrist and pulled him along into the bar. Opening the cabinets, instead of wine, beer, or spirits, it contained extra clothes in case I brought company. I passed Kanda a flashlight and he immediately turned it on. Eyeing Kanda's body all the while, I kept grasping inside the cabinets until I found some decent clothes while he waved his flashlight and saw that the bar was surprisingly clean.

I like to think of this place as my home-away-from-home, somewhere safe and invitation required to enter. It's not like I stored valuables here, but if some stupid policemen or gang members decided to rob my house, I could be here all week long and they would never find it, much less enter. I used to come here often and drink away my problems because there were quite a few bottles and stuff left behind, although most people pilfered the money and good stuff. I discovered a safe full of extremely rare wine and a well-stocked wine cellar that nobody broke into, so it was a good opportunity. Most of the furniture is usable too, and it might not have running water or electricity, but it was big and usable and that was that.

I tossed the clothes at Kanda and when he spread them out on a booth table, his face told me that he was not amused.

I don't get it! I chose ripped black skinnys, a tight shirt that said, "I have a fetish for you", thin black boots with chain clasps that wind all around the ankle, and a tattered black cloak with a hood. It was a pretty cool ensemble, excuse me.

While he was screwing up his face in disgust (which I don't understand) and complaining to me, I was changing out of my biker gear into bar gear. Thin, tight, black shorts, a black muscle shirt, a breezy, grey, shredded shirt that was two sizes too big for me, piercings in, mussed hair, and thigh-high strappy boots to complete the look. No underwear. Oh, right, and a black glove that covered the whole of my entire left arm. Looking at my reflection in cracked mirrors I "installed" (super glue, it's amazing) on the walls of the whole bar.

To be honest, you only needed a single candle to light up the whole bar because of all the mirrors.

I stood there in all my glory and Kanda looked up and down at me. I raised an eyebrow. His mouth frowned.

"What? Don't you think I look ravishing?"

"You look like a whore."

"Well, that's the look I was aiming for. You got it right in one shot! Give a prize to the man!"

"You're sick, Moyashi. Really sick."

"Why thank you, Yuu Kanda. Now shut the fuck up and change."

He frowned at me a little more and picked up the cloak.

"This is all I'll need. I'm not going to..._participate_ in whatever the hell you do. And what's with the glove?"

He was wearing fitted black jeans, a dark green long sleeve with a V-cut, and a white knit scarf. I suppose it would have to do. I ignored his question.

"Alright, ditch the scarf and it'll be all good. But pull up the hood the moment you exit this place. Not everybody is an angel like me, offering you clothes and a safe haven to rest in for a while. I'm _untouchable_."

He looked wary, but curious and it looked like he was going to ask about my gloved arm again so I grabbed his wrist and dragged him out of my hidey-hole. I saw a flash of fear as we headed out the door, his hood pulled up. The whole time I had on this really sarcastic look. I had taken off my mask around him. Why even bother? My face rearranged itself back into it's normal expression. _Expressionless._

He was silent the whole time and we finally arrived at a rusty little door. It was located on a miserable little building, small windows and moldy walls, but I confidently opened the door. I let go of his wrist when a huge hulking man awaited us, but he saw me and sunk into a deep bow.

"13th, Noah-sama, it is good to encounter you again. There is room for you, as always. I know it is rude, but verification..."

I flashed my left ear, a golden earring. I also pulled the right side of my shorts up. A tattoo of my insignia, burned on the inside of my thigh.

"Thank you Noah-sama. You may enter. And is that a guest?"

"Yes, a special one. He's under my protection, will you please notify that to the rest?"

"O-of course! And.. er..._ Road-sama and Jasdevi are here_."

"Thank you for the warning. Good day."

"Good night. Akuma rules the night."

"The Black Order is brought to light."

The guard moved and all we could see was a winding staircase made of stone. There were no lights. I stepped into the darkness and looked back. Kanda was still standing at the doorway, unsure whether to enter or not. He was awkwardly past the guard, but the door still wasn't shut. Maybe he's rethinking the whole _I'm-so-curious thing_. Best be uncharacteristically serious.

"This is the beginning of an end, Kanda."

He looked up when I said his name correctly.

"Stupid Moyashi." he muttered.

"You picked your poison. Let's go to the underworld."

We trudged down together and I slowed in order to be nearer to him (he's very slow and it's not just his body that's sluggish). The stairway smelled like blood I wanted to breath in Kanda's fragrance more. He was looking very uncomfortable, all stiff and stone-faced, and his arms drew his cloak closer to him.

"Aren't you cold?"

Surprisingly, he broke the silence first. I ignored his question. He didn't speak to me again for the rest of the trip down.

When we reached the bottom of the stairwell, a dark-brown door with old bloodstains greeted us. You could hear the music booming from the other side.

"Remember when I told Lavi and you guys that I worked at an bookstore part-time?"

"Yes, Beansprout. Lenalee and Lavi were kicking up a huge fuss about it and how they wanted to come and visit you. They tried stalking you but they lost you."

"Well, I lied. I actually wor-"

"I'm not surprised you lied about that. You have shifty eyes."

"No, I don't. Anyways, once we go in here, you'll probably get what I do and the gist of it. I don't feel like explaining anymore. Got that?"

"Wait, what do you me-"

I pushed open the door and hazy amber light flooded our eyes. No backing out now.


	4. Retribution

A/N: My story is starting to shape differently than I expected and readers of my old version will probably realize that, but whatever :) Reviews appreciated as always and thnx

The mixture of smoke and amber light blurred reality as I led Kanda through a throng of dancing people, grinding and slyly glancing at me, interested in the hooded figure.

"Hey Allen, it's been awhile, two weeks, right?"

"Allen-kun, come play with us real women, last time we had so much fun!"

"It's tonight, right babe? I got my cash ready."

"I got my hands on cheaper stuff than Tyki today, meet me at booth 21 later?"

"Seems like you're a regular here." Kanda commented darkly. He suddenly grabbed my arm and I glanced back and I could see that he was stuck in a rather uncomfortable situation for most normal people.

A rather new porn star was shoving his erect penis, which was struggling to contain itself in a black G-string, onto Kanda's clothed hole, grinding and moaning as he wrapped his arms around Kanda's waist. Kanda was looking furious and blushing red as he tightened his grip on my wrist and mouthed, "Moyashi!"

It was already announced that Kanda was under my protection, so what the hell was this loser doing? He needed to be taught a lesson. Looking down, he seemed bigger than normal, but it was nothing to flap around, not when I was here. I might as well get free advertising out of this anyways, I need the money. To put it in a nutshell, I prostitute myself. I'm a slut and I know it.

I pointed at my reserved booth (13) and the crowd parted to let Kanda go there and as the newbie tried to follow him, I grabbed his neck and smashed lips together. He tasted disgusting, like tequilas, semen, and beer. He smelled exactly like he tasted. Has he ever heard of toothpaste and deodorant? The crowd roared as I expertly fingered the G-string to make his dick bounce up and down, and he moaned loudly, causing many people around us to snicker. A ring formed the two of us and as he tried to sneak a hand into my shorts, I used one hand to grab both of his wrists behind his back and the other to finger his hole.

"I bet I can make you come like you never had before you little shit" I whispered in his ear as he tried to shove my fingers deeper into him. He had no shirt on so I could clearly see two dark nipples, perky and ready to be sucked on, so I complied. I only breathed on them and he moaned louder, his underwear gone and was fully nude on the dance floor. I wasn't turned on a bit.

"Who here bets I can teach this little slut a lesson?"

The crowd roared and someone managed to get some string to tie the new porn star to a bar stool. I pulled my single finger out of him and let go of his hands. He was tied in such a way that his back arched and I had full access to everything but his back. Trailing fingers across his non-existent abs, I felt him shiver and sweat. Fingers danced up and down, flicking his nipples and I even inserted my fingers into his mouth. Meanwhile, his cock was up and hard as a rock, precum leaking and veins bulging. After he was done sucking on my fingers, I used a single finger to trail down his dick. It twitched and he thrust his hips towards my hand. Without warning, I suddenly grabbed it and squeezed. He thrusted harder but I simply grabbed on and did nothing. By this point he was panting and I could even see tears leaking out of the corners of his eyes. Everyone was cheering for me and the little slut was trying to say something. I squeezed one more time and I heard it.

"P-p-please, anything."

I looked down on him with a disdainful expression. I was pretty pissed at him for getting at Kanda.

"Really."

"I'll e-even g-give you a d-discou-"

Everyone gasped. I let go of his member and he whined. I snorted in disgust and slapped his dick. Hard. He moaned loudly.

"Who the hell do you think you are to say you'll give me a discount? Do you know who I am? I think you deserve a big punishment."

I heard people chanting my name as I snapped my fingers at the bartender. He got out a huge dildo thicker than my arm and the crowd passed it to my hands. The little porn star had huge eyes and was staring at the size of the dildo in my hands.

"W-w-wait that's t-t-too b-bi-"

"If you can't handle even this small one, you don't deserve to say a single word to me."

I untied his legs and re-tied them up so that his hole was fully exposed. I positioned the dildo and touched his hole. He started sobbing and crying, pleading, "P-please, no!". Bad move.

I hate people who beg.

Without warning or preparation, I shoved the whole thing in (at least a foot and a half long) and set it to vibrate. The whole crowd became silent. He came and because of his position, his dick sprayed semen all over his chest and face. I'm pretty sure I saw blood but he was getting too loud so I asked for a gag. I tied his mouth and left him there for everyone to see.

"Does everyone need a reminder who I am?"

It was dead quiet and everybody stopped what they were doing. The music was gone and the atmosphere was cold. I have this kind of presence when I want it and I was pretty pissed off right now.

"Who am I?"

"13TH!"

"I said, who am I?"

"A NOAH!"

"WHO AM I?"

"ALLEN WALKER!"

The music started, people were cheering, and the newbie porn star was forgotten, his dick becoming instantly erect after he ejaculated his fill again. Disgusting. I wasn't turned on at all.

"Those who want to see a real show, come to my room here in a few hours and we'll have plenty of fun there!"

Everyone cheered and since business was finished here, I walked to the bar and asked for a martini, a lemon tequila, a Jack Daniel, and a glass of sparkling mineral water. The bartender threw it all together in a jiffy and I pointed at my table, where Kanda awaited.

The bartender and I walked at about the same pace, arriving just after he set down the drinks.

I slid into the booth and Kanda had the most incredulous expression on his face. He looked like he wasn't able to believe what he was seeing.

"Now was that a show or what?"

"...You're a fraud. A complete fake. What the fuck was that?! You walk in and you just...that man and the...thing... I mean, you're the so-called princeling of our school! Where the hell is the annoying weakling beanspro-"

"You're looking at him. So what if I'm a complete fake? What if I'm not the nice guy everybody thought I was? I just came to school because if I didn't, child services would be after me and I wouldn't be able to live here, not when I just settled down. I live the only way I know how, and what right do you have to judge me?"

I swiped the martini and downed it in one gulp. It tasted awful and I could barely feel any buzz.

"The water's for you. I'm going to go have some fun."

"I can't believe you, Moyashi..."

"What? That I have underage sex or that I'm an underage drinker?"

"I just can't believe you enjoy...s-sex..."

The stutter at the end confused me for a few seconds, then it hit me.

"You're a virgin."

"..."

"You are just adorable! Not only are you perfect, you're innocent to the boot! I suppose it's because of your personality-"

"What do you mean perfe-"

"I wish I could take you, that would be alright, I mean, you're certainly hot enough."

"I'm not a pedophile who has sex with underage kids."

"We're the same age, Bakanda, and besides, two negatives make a positive!"

Just as I was exclaiming that my arm suddenly went stiff, then it started shaking uncontrollably. Kanda's eyes immediately locked onto it and I forced my arm in my lap, as if I was resting it casually, and sipped at my tequila.

"What? Are you looking there for a reason~?" I wiggled my eyebrows suggestively.

"..."

He took his sparkling water and gulped it down, eyes closed, and he slammed it down when he finished. Meanwhile, I was about to start on the Jack Daniel. Rummaging through the pockets of my shorts, I could have sworn I had an extra packet of powdered heroin (for emergencies *wink*) and I located it in the back pocket. I ripped that sucker open and promptly dumped the whole thing in the Jack Daniel. Kanda slapped the packet out of my hand but it was too late, and a furious expression erupted on his face.

"Stop fucking drinking and putting whatever the fuck that shit is in your drinks. That stuff'll kill you!"

I took a swig of it but it tasted too tart; my lips puckered at the bitter flavor it took on. I set down the bottle (a quarter empty) and looked at Kanda straight in the eye. I smirked.

"I won't live to be eighteen."

"WHA-"

"There's numerous reasons I could list but it would take at least take an hour to say them all. I drink. I smoke. I take drugs. I even have unprotected sex. Did you honestly think I was going to last long, even with the things you only saw today?"

"...It doesn't mean you'll d-"

"Kanda."

He stopped mid-sentence when I said his proper name.

"There's more to this than my lifestyle and I don't have to tell you everything. Let's just say there's a big-ass problem in my already screwed up life and there isn't a way to fix it."

"Is it your arm?! Moyashi, there's medicine, thera-"

"Shut up before I rape you."

He frowned but stopped when I gave him a dark look. Looking away, I tried to focus on something else, like the peeling wallpaper, or Kanda's overwhelming fragrance that was stronger than the smell of a bar. I grabbed my drink but as I was drinking, Kanda stupidly slapped it away from me and it crashed to the floor. People around us were staring, but I gave them a look and most went back to dancing or doing whatever slutty thing they were in the middle of. I stared at the glass fragments that glittered on the floor. What a waste.

"What the bloody hell was that for? It was spiked with my good stash!"

"What the hell did you put in that drink? Why don't you fucking tell me first?!"

Luckily, I was already half-finished with it and I could already feel my head get lighter, the hazy lights getting stronger, and Kanda getting cuter. His facial features were sharpened to an extreme degree and I could practically feel his intense eyes burning a hole through my dirty soul.

" I put something that makes me want to fuck you. Come over here, let's have some fun."


	5. Something He'll Never Forget

**A/N: Yes, I know I changed it drastically but I still hope you guys'll enjoy it, I mean, I feel like I actually did a better job writing this than the original so yeah, and of course, reviews appreciated!**

"MOYASHI! WHAT TH-"

I crawled over the table and flung myself at him and I locked my arms around his neck. Our faces were so close that I could see my reflection in his eyes. He smelled like flowers. If I could only remember what kind...

He quieted down and we stared at each other like that. Then I pressed his lips to mine.

He tasted like flowers too. He froze, then started struggling like mad, but I was already sitting on him and had my fingers tangled in his hair. He flailed his arms and I inwardly giggled. Who was the perfect wannabe samurai that everybody was afraid of? It felt amazing, knocking that perfect, shining god off his pedestal.

"It'll be easier if you don't struggle, just go with the flow and I won't hurt you" I breathed heavily when I broke our kissing session apart. A small string of saliva connected us and he used this chance to try to yell at me.

"STOP! What the hell are you talking about?"

I went at him at a different angle and while he struggling to get me off him, I snapped my fingers at a dark man sitting in a booth, three from mine. He kissed my hand and pressed a small pill into it. I glanced my eyes at Tyki. He grinned in a feral manner and bowed low while topping his hat. I grinned evilly in the midst of kissing and Tyki left.

Meanwhile, Kanda finally slipped an arm on my chest and shoved me back, my spine smushed against the booth table. I used this time to my advantage and I used my free arm to touch his clothed penis and I started groping. He opened his mouth and yelped, startled, and I popped him the ecstasy pill and he swallowed out of reflex. He blinked for a few seconds, then started yelling at me.

"WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST SWALLOW?! MOYASHI YOU BETTER FUCKING TELL ME OR I SWEAR I'LL DECAPITA-"

I shoved him down to the booth seat, so I was on top of him and he was lying down. He stopped mid-sentence and I quickly shoved up his shirt and went straight for his nipples. He bit his lip but I could already tell the drug was starting to work. I sucked on the right one really hard while pinching the left one and when I flicked my tongue, a small moan escaped him. His arms were relaxed and he wasn't struggling anymore. I used my free gloved hand to flutter across his chest, then abs, then lower...

I licked a trail from his right nipple; all the way to his neck, and I found a spot where he started to shiver every time I licked it. Groaning, Kanda's arms started wandering across my back, bringing me closer to him.

"*breathing hard* N-Not fair Moyashi- Y-you're still clothed."

I ignored him and started creating a mother-of-all-hickeys, sucking and biting. When I bit down hard enough to draw blood, he gasped, and I could see his iris getting larger. I licked the bite in apology and breathed a trail to his mouth. His eyes on me, I went for his mouth and we looked at each other the whole time.

"W-wait, t-take off the g-glove at least."

I ignored him.

One hand was still tweaking that nipple and the other had arrived at his pants. I quickly unbuttoned it and pulled the zipper down. His erection was stiff and it was straining against his blue boxers. Kanda's hands were in my hair and one was entering underneath my shorts. I wasn't wearing any boxers so he groped my naked ass and my eyes fluttered when his long, bony fingers started to inch near my hole. That's just cute.

When he started touching my hole, I jerked away and grabbed his erection in response. His hand froze and used that chance to take his hand out of my pants and I held it instead. I guided his hand towards my shorts and he glanced down, looking at my erection. His eyes widened when he saw how huge it was. His face splayed with fear.

"Don't worry, I swear it won't hurt."

"Y-you better not be lying"

Both of us were pretty out of breath when we exchanged words and his cheeks were dusted a beautiful pale pink to accent his skin. Suddenly, he pulled my shorts to my knees in one move and my erection was exposed. He smirked in victory when I let out a breath yelp when he fondled the head of my dick, pre-cum dribbling down his fingers, but there was no way I was giving him any more control.

I raised my head to Kanda's ear, gave it a long lick, and whispered, "Try not to scream."

"W-who's g-going to scream, j-just try it."

"As you wish."

I put his hand (sticky with my pre-cum) in his own mouth and he gave me a confused look (virgin pffft).

"Suck."

He looked at me if I was crazy but I joined his mouth and soon enough, his hands were coated with our saliva. I guided his hand downwards, shivering slightly when our hands brushed my erection. It finally rested at the base of Kanda's balls and his dick was fighting for attention. I nimbly moved his fingers down south and they paused right on his hole.

"W-what are you doing?!"

"Something you'll never forget."

I kissed him, ravishing his mouth, and plunged his own finger inside himself. He jerked, then started groaning in our kiss. I distracted him with my tongue and moved his finger, rocking my hips at the same pace. Erections touching, we moaned in harmony as I dominated the kiss. I helped Kanda by slipping in one more of his fingers and two of my own. I curved my index and middle finger inside of him and he pushed himself deeper on them, his sweet spot revealed. I thought that this was more than plenty of prep and I took out our fingers; he whined when he was empty inside.

Image that, Kanda the perfect god, whining because broken little Allen wasn't finger-fucking him. I smirked. I no longer wanted to satisfy his curiosity, bow down to his whims. I wanted to bring him down with me, break his wings and drag him into the darkness with me.

Without warning, I lifted myself from him, positioned myself, and shoved my dick inside, tight and hot as fire. I went deep inside of him and I started pounding into him, not caring whether it hurt Kanda. After what seemed like eternity, he stiffened, and came all over me. I rocked inside of him and came afterwards, the hot, fiery passion leaving my gut and coating his inside instead. I slipped out and took a look at him.

He was breathing hard, lips bruised, and hair out of his ponytail. He was a hot mess, his shirt pulled up and exposing all the hickies I managed to give him and his pants and boxers were at his knees. His abs were coated in his semen and I could see my own leaking out of his hole. His dark eyes stared at me and it seemed I could drown in their darkness. I could smell his undefinable scent of flowers, strong in the air. He was beautiful.


	6. It hurts A lot

**A/N: Rewriting this makes me feel a liiiiittle better, so please enjoy! And reviews, if possible! I will reply to you guys ASAP cause I just found out the "reply" button lol.**

It's amazing how little stamina he must have, because after he gazed at me for a few more seconds, his eyelids fluttered and he passed out, his body still a mess. I cleaned myself up *it didn't take long, all I did was pull my shorts down* and slipped him a Tylenol I found on the table. I quickly tidied him up with some napkins and scooped my mess out of of him (I swore I heard him gasp when I inserted my finger inside him again) and, lugging him over my shoulder, I stumbled down a dark, unlit hall and went to my "room".

The walls were black and with a huge, king-sized bed that was completely white, down to the pillows and sheets. There was a closet full of "goodies", such as cosplay clothes and sex toys and kink for the extreme customers. I lay him down on the bed and as I went out, I locked the door (three locks and an electronic key code). I left the sign on the outside as it is (unavailable) and went back to the bar.

Just as I was about to ask for a strong glass of whisky, I smelled a slight waft of cotton candy and a sickly sweetness.

"Alleeeeeeeeeeen!"

Groaning, I turned around, knowing that Road wouldn't take it lightly for me to ignore her.

"It's been a while, I thought you were at the Ark?"

"Nah, for some reason only Skin's been hanging out there and everybody else disappeared, so I thought I could play with you!"

Sighing, I knew this was probably Tyki's revenge ever since I stole his wallet for some extra cash (I was a little short from buying a new helmet and I left my money at home). I asked for a strong sherry and I gulped it down, thankful for it's numbing effect.

Alcohol no longer affected my body, nor did small doses of drugs. I had built resistance to the point where I could drink from dusk till dawn and still feel lucid. My blood to alcohol ratio stayed at at a constant 0.013% percent all day and night and I would probably be arrested if someone tested me anytime. At least it numbed the pains that wracked my body everyday. I had to prepare for it.

"Road, maybe next week, I'm a little too tired today. My body isn't as youthful as it was five years ago, compared to yours."

It wouldn't be very wise to mention Kanda, even if he _was _introduced to the dark side society. Road could be the bitchiest she-devil if she found out that I had "opened up" to someone (and I am _not_ "opening up" to Kanda. The end.)

While I was inching away from her (and I am NOT dealing with her today) my arm suddenly wracked with a jolting pain, like as if my bones were cracking and swelling at the same time.

I stopped drifting away from Road, distracted by the pain. My tendons strained from the effort of not moving my arm and I bit back a scream, biting my cheek till it bled. I (as best as I could) casually moved my arm behind me but her eyes instantly went to it, narrowed, and grabbed it. It trembled under her grip and-  
Damn it. Why the hell did this have to happen right now?

"Why is it still-"

"Road. Time happened. Nothing can stop it, I'm even taking whatever mystery shit is prescribed to me. This is something deeper, something even the Noahs can't stop. I bet you guys are looking forward to this, don't give me sympathy. Now let me go."

"Allen, it's not true, whatever you're thinking. I swe-"

"_You just want your fucking ex back. Let go._"

She let go.

I stumbled in the direction of my room and I slapped away Road's incoming hand. She stood there by herself, sipping at my leftover sherry and staring at me. I didn't look back.

I embraced the darkness of the hallway as the pain in my gloved arm traveled to my chest.

My heart strained and it felt as if someone was gripping it, pulsing harder and harder. Tears leaked in my eyes as I leaned against the wall, gripping my arm tight, tight enough for my fingernails to pierce the glove and bleed. The black arm-length glove only stained darker as it dripped with my worthless life. It got harder to breath. I was gasping and struggling to pull in air as I punched in the code. I unlocked the other locks with one hand; my other arm, it was too painful to even move, let alone lift and nimbly unlock miniature digits.

I pushed the door open and closed it shut behind me. Kanda was resting peacefully, his skin glowing like an angel's in the darkness. Even after he had fallen he still looked so pure. Dead-bolting the door, I collapsed next to it and buried my face in my hands. I sobbed and dry-heaved; body rotting and falling apart, soul so black that I was the devil himself.

What right did I have to take apart this god down, piece by piece? I had some nerve, wanting to drag him down to my level; no matter how low he sunk his soul would always be at peace, just like his self right now. I glanced at his innocent sleeping face and felt like vomiting.

I crawled to him and lifted my body up with all my strength. With my ungloved hand, I brushed his bangs away from his face. He was beautiful, with large, Japanese eyes, narrow nose, and the mouth of cupid. Not a single scar or a hint of acne anywhere. He was perfect. I trailed my fingers against his jawbone, fluttering over his neck. I gently thumbed his lips. I leaned forward and gently pressed my lips to his, not going any deeper, just staring at his closed eyes and wishing they would never open. It was peaceful.

I must have stayed like that for ages, until a final attack on my heart made me clutch and grapple at it, the scent of flowers overwhelming. The last thing I felt before I blacked out was a faint smile on my lips.


	7. When I woke up

**A/N: Updates! Yay! Like my new chapters? Hope so! And those who haven't read the old ones *psttt* you're better off anyways... And reading through it again it seems ALOT more angsty than the last one *gomen if you don't like* Please review I always take them at heart and do my best to improve! **

"-THE FUCK MOYASHI _BLAHBLAHBLAH _HURTS _BLABLAHBLAH _LAST NIGHT _BLAHBLAHBLAH _SLIP ME A PILL _BLAHBLAHBLAHBLAHBLAH_"

Why doesn't Kanda just bugger off, the brat.

"_Shut. The. Fuck. Up."_

I cracked one eye open and saw sleeping beauty standing across the other side of the bed and ranting at me. His hair was still straight (no bed head like me) and his clothes were only slightly rumpled. He had managed to find the light switch in this room of eternal darkness but it's sickly, feeble light managed to reveal everything.

I yawned, then sat up, working out all the cracks and kinks in my bones. I hate it when people crack their knuckles though, don't they realize it only makes the joints swell up and causes the bones to enlarge? Stupid.

My left eye was a little foggy (as usual) and it stung because I didn't treat it last night. My arm-length glove had a couple of punctures from my fingernails and I could see that the fabric had absorbed the blood. Looking at the sheets, I spotted a couple of dark red spots and assumed it was from my injury. Lazily looking around, I could see a smear of blood on the door, but nothing else. The black floor hid everything, blood, sex, and sins.

"-YOU STUPID BAKA MORON _BLAHBLAH_ CHANGE LIFE _BLAHBLAHBLAH_ UNDERWORLD _BLAH _OUT OF HERE NOW!"

I managed to tune most of what he said but he said he wanted out? Kanda _finally _quieted down and I looked at him. And smirked.

"So, how did it feel to finally be a man? Wait, sorry, I mean woman."

"Y-yesterday you- the drug and then you, you attacked me! You just committed r-r-rape!"

He just totally blindsided the whole feministic joke and went straight to the cracker.

"Kanda darling, it's not rape; it's sex you didn't know you wanted."

"You fucking stole my v-virginity and I feel so shitty right now, my ass hurts and there's freaking bite marks everywhere on my body. I feel dirty."

"Of course, perfect princess Kanda can't stand feeling so tainted by scum like me who popped your cherry without permission."

"...? I don't get you, but whatever, you're at fault. I only came here because you led me here."

"And why did you follow?"

"I followed to reason with myself that people aren't as stupid as I think they are."

"And you're verdict?"

He paused.

"...I learned a lot of things about you from what you _didn't _say, which makes me that much smarter than you, who didn't explain a thing. Like how you're _a lot_ stupider than I thought you originally were. And that you're a complete poser. And a lier... This is enough, I don't need to know anything else. What the hell is _wrong_ with you?"

"There's nothing wrong with me. You and the rest of the so-called 'normal' population simply can't accept that low-life scum like me are different from you guys."

"You said so yourself. You're going to die young."

"It depends on the perspective of the word 'young'. To me and nearly everyone I know, I'm already an adult. Life is too long for me to endure this and I want to rest. I'm tired, Bakanda, but I can't just turn around and face the music because a nosy wannabe-samurai said so."

"Baka Moyashi, this isn't about me or you."

I snarled.

"What the hell you getting all fucking care-bear over? Why the hell do you even care? Confirm your judgment of stupidity of people? Please. Why are you even here? "

"Because..."

"And the Lenalee excuse won't work because it isn't true."

His bangs shadowed his eyes and the atmosphere suddenly got colder. I drew the sheets a little closer. He sat down on the bed.

"...you might be a fake to all your classmates, but they accept you. They would miss you. You're...needed."

I couldn't believe those words just passed Kanda's lips. He looked away and a distant look crossed his eyes.

"I don't fit in. I hate socializing and talking to people. I can count on one hand the number of people that I consider carefully. Froi...he gave me a second chance at life, my past is behind me. I still want more time though, it's not enough. I don't have much of anything and I can't claim I have much, but I still want more time. Life is amazing, even without people. But you, you have _everything_. Friends, a social life, and so much fucking _time_. What the fuck are you doing here? WHY THE HELL DO YOU WANT TO DIE?!"

A sudden rapping at the door cut the conversation quickly. He looked at me with unreadable eyes and I wondered if there was more to him than his perfect exterior. He was disgustingly amazing and yet, no one would miss him? I wonder if everyone thinks that negatively about themselves.

"Alleeeen? I know you're in there, are you there with someone? I... wanted to talk to you about yesterday. I just want to... say that you're family and I would miss you, despite circumstances. Alleeeeen? Can you heeeeaaar me?"

Road's high, childish voice rang tinnily through the door and Kanda raised an eyebrow. I leaned towards him, then whispered,

"You don't fit in? Why do I deny a normal life? Do you really want to know?... Is it alright for me to take a little bit of your time? It's not to late to run, just forget about me. You could forget _everything._ "

He ruminated, then muttered back.

"Baka Moyashi. I told you personal feelings I never tell anyone. It's way too late to back out now. What the hell do you think?"

I smiled. He glanced at me, then ch'd. I grinned.

Is it alright to take you with me to hell?


	8. Introductions

**A/N: Wow so angsty and emotional, the stories a lot slower than I thought, but I'll make the chapters longer. I just felt like some places I just wanted it to end there. Oh, right, and btw, I changed the Black Order into something else and those who read that part "Black Order takes the night", I changed it to something else. And thnx for your offer ****WalkTheDarkAlone**** can I really take you up on it? Oh, and sorry it's late, but review thanks to all of you! *Neppi-chan, Shizaki Kuro,P-Kim, shaythevamp, Mystery Dream, WalkTheDarkAlone, and Ern Estine 13624, ありがとうございます * "Suggestions? Reviews? Please?!**

I got up and unlocked the door. Road was standing there, licking a red lollipop. She had the face of a child who got in trouble and was trying to apologize. She started blurting out words the moment I opened the door.

"Allen, I love you! You are your own person, I never mistake you for anyone else. I'll miss you of right now, but I'll love you still, more in the future."

I could tell she was sincere, but I also felt the underlying message of my inevitable fate. She took out her lollipop and tackled me to the floor with a kiss. I let her take control and she explored my mouth, her hands holding my arms down. Suddenly, I felt her body lift from mine and behind her was Kanda, who had grabbed her waist and removed her from me.

"Allen! Who is he?! Why doesn't he let me down already? I'm a Noah, let me down right now!"

It was pretty funny, but if Kanda didn't let her down, things could get serious.

"Down boy, down. She's my family."

He looked at us in disgust. Right, incest. Even though I wasn't officially related to her by blood. She stuck her tongue out at him when he let her down and immediately buried her face in my chest, taking a quick squeeze of my butt; I could feel her smirk through my shirt. Kanda looked aghast at her and I was ruffling my hands through her hair.

"So Allen, who is he?"

"... This is Yuu Kanda, and he's a... a friend of mine. This is Road Camelot."

Road tugged at my shirt while Kanda hissed at the mention of his first name. She pulled me down her diminutive height and confided in my ear.

"Kanda? As in the adopted son of Froi Tiedoll?"

I nodded.

"Didn't he grow up with Komui Lee's sister? So wouldn't that mean he would be involved with _them_?"

Ahh, right. I didn't even _think_ about Komui's...associates. I met them on multiple occasions and I was lucky enough to be trusted that I wouldn't do anything bad.

Komui's the principle of Dark Order High and he's also secretly infiltrating the town because of downtown's bad roots. There was also _that_ from 4 years ago and this place had been on code grey ever since.

What's code grey?

High alert of Akuma.

What is Akuma?

An organization, to put it loosely, that devotes itself to controlling at least 90% of the underworld and making ridiculous profit, along with exterminating most humans with the hope of leaving the world in better hands.

They sell organs. They run the slave trade. Experiment on humans. Black Market. Mafia. You name it, they do it.

They usually take over cities slowly, transforming everyone into Akuma, but in this town the Noahs made a mistake and for the first time, Akuma was known to the public eye. A group called the "Black Order" was established to destroy Akuma, its members, and the mysterious key founders they have yet to discover. They were named after an uptown secret society and they have their own inner workings and such, which would take too long to explain right now.

The problem lies in that the Black Order (members are called "Exorcists", a pun that a _very funny _person created; he was found deceased, drowned in a basin of holy water at a church and his lips slit and stitched into a smile) is very efficient. They've recovered at least ten of the fifty-four towns that was Akuma run and the fact that this place is on code grey and high alert means that any slip-ups will create problems. The only reason why the Noah still come here is because their base is located here.

All members start off with a single, realistic wish that our leader, Millennium Earl, grants, then they serve for the rest of their life with unfailing devotion. They can move up ranks and are given benefits and power as they go up, but traitors are instantly destroyed.

Akuma is run by key members of the group, the Millennium Earl's "family". They are born with supergenes that make them almost inhuman, except for appearance and anatomically. An example of their powers would be Roads, with her ability to manipulate people's dreams and essentially, destroy their minds and memories. All of them have incredible, unlimited regeneration, immortality, extra powers, are reborn into different forms if they perish, and connected in an unexplainable way that brings them into a "family". Their goal is to destroy all humans and leave only the Noah, perfect humans, behind.

Road is a Noah.

So am I.


	9. The Price

**A/N: Mehehehehe the story's getting weirder than I expected but I still hope you'll like it (readers of the original version, thank you for pulling through my awful writing) and WalkTheDarkAlone, thanks for beta-ing for me right now I'm INLOVEINLOVEINLOVE with you! Always open for reviews *slightly desperate* is my writing really that bad :'(**

Road pulled away from me and looked Kanda up and down.

"So he's a... friend."

"Yes, and I don't care about that little problem about him."

"Allen, this is dangerous, you're playing with fire. You're being stupid and he should butt out of y-"

"I brought him here because he wanted to be and I wanted him to come."

"... Let's talk in private. You, stay over here."

Kanda fumed at his (assumed) usage of his first name and glared at me. I shrugged and gestured for him to wait on the bed. He reluctantly complied and I hurried Road out of the room. Closing the door behind us both, the first thing she did was grab my arm.

"SHI-... Road, let go, it's not exactly in top form right now."

"Why is it still deteriorating? I don't understand, you're awakening, yet something in your arm is fighting it off, but what? I want you to become one of us, aren't you tired of this? I feel like that arm of yours hurts me more than it hurts you. I can't stand seeing you in pain, it's painful right here. "

She gently put my painful hand to her chest, right where her heart was. She curled her hand over mine; I saw a single tear roll down her cheek.

"And then you brought him. Why? Aren't I your family? Family members have no secrets from each other. He has nothing to do with us, or for the matter, you. He's not like us, in darkness or in blood. How much are you going to tell him, everything? He's not a Noah, it's forbi-"

"Maybe I want to break the rules."

She gasped loudly, then used both of her hands to quickly cover my mouth. She whispered angrily.

"Don't say that, someone might hear us! Do you know what that would mean?"

I gently shoved her hands from my mouth and looked away.

"I do, and that's what I'm wondering about. Doesn't family always accept everyone's' decisions? Why is it forbidden to do as you wish? Road, we're restricted, and I want out. My time is nearly over, think of this as my last act as Allen Walker, before I remember everything. Before I remember being him."

"...Allen, you can do this after you wa-"

"You say that I won't be him, but I will be at the same time. Road, do you remember what you were originally like?"

She was silent.

" Or will I be another Tyki; here for a day and gone for a month, each not knowing who the other is and yet so painfully aware-"

"He's a special circumstance, that won't happen to you. You'll wake up perfectly fine."

"But is it perfectly fine? Who were you before you awoke-"

"I was trash, then I became a Noah. The end."

"THAT'S A SHITTY ANSWER IF I EVER HEARD ONE AND YOU KNOW IT! How the hell do you even know you were trash? You don't even remember! I don't see your memories mingle like you claim mine will. I only see Road, Noah of Dreams. I don't feel anything that seems like a normal, worthless human in you."

She seemed aghast at the compliment once she realized what I meant.

"Allen, you aren't trash, you're speci-"

"Can you really say that? When I know you loved him?"

"But I love you too! I can't help it!"

She finally sobbed, frustrated tears pooling in her eyes. I waited for her to calm down. After a few minutes of hysterical crying, she suddenly stopped, wiped her face, and looked up at me with a cool face, as if she had never cried.

"Fine, do whatever you want, I won't help you ever again, until you get rid of him. This is for your own good, you just don't understand."

"This is my final act, you won't have to help me after this."

She slapped me. It rang through the unlit hall and I could feel my cheek burn in the cool air. Since she is also the Noah of Doors, she summoned a door of hers in the wall and walked through quickly.

I turned back to my own room's door, aware of what exactly I had paid for in order to keep Kanda, in order to keep on playing this twisted game.

Slipping inside, Kanda was riffling through my closet with a disgusted, yet curious face as he littered the floor with sex toys and such. I choked down a snort when his hands grabbed a dildo and he threw it to the floor with a horrified expression. I quietly walked behind him and wrapped my arms around him. He froze, then relaxed.

"Moyashi, let the fuck go."

I buried my face in his hair. I still couldn't put my finger on what scent of flower he smelled like. His hair was surprisingly silky (I approve) and his warmth was nice. His hands tried to pry at my fingers, but I simply grabbed them and held his hands. He didn't shove them away. My head rested on his back and I sighed, tired, and wished I could just stay like this for a little longer.

After what felt like eternity, I let go of him and he whirled around and backed away, facing me at a safe distance. My face was nonchalant and I saw him puzzle at my expression. He looked like he had a lot more questions to ask but I'm too tired to deal with it right now. I'm glad I don't have to go to school till tomorrow. I don't want to talk to Kanda right now. I don't want to deal with my arm. Don't want to think about the consequences of Road and the price I paid. I need a distraction.

"Kanda, I think you've seen enough. Your family's probably worried about you (he muttered, "Fuck that") and you need time to mull over anyways. It's too late to back out now, you should probably think about our relationship right now, it's definitely not what it was before. We have school tomorrow, you should do your homework too."

"Moyashi-"

"I'll take you out."

I don't remember much about leading him out of the bar, except that his grip to my wrist was too gentle for the Kanda I knew. He grasped me like I was a gentle bird, or something fucking delicate like that. Who was he to sympathize me, the bastard of a perfect god? I asked him just that and he answered, "I'm not sympathizing for you. Figure it out."

Great. Something else for my brain to mull about and ache over. Thanks a lot, Bakanda. Not much else happened. I led him back to my motorcycle and I took him back to the supermarket. I slipped a 20 dollar bill in his pocket (for cab fare) and drove off, leaving him staring at me as I left. I drove back downtown and arrived at a block of the shittiest houses, the kind that everyone thinks is haunted but it's really not and the sounds are just kinky couples having sex in them. At the last one on the block (it was a dead end after that), a crappy little two story house stood there.

The paint was peeling (it was grey either way so it didn't matter), the windows were boarded up except for the top one, and the lawn didn't look like it had been mowed in several years. The fence was black iron with spikes on the top (my best idea yet), with a foreboding black gate that had this gigantic lock on it. Hopping off my bike, I walked it to the gate. Lifting the seat of my motorcycle, there was this ridiculously old and fancy-looking key that I grasped with my forefinger and thumb. I inserted it in the keyhole, and grabbed the lock before it fell to the ground. I walked my bike to the back and locked the gate up. I opened the door to my house. It was unlocked, as I always left it.

The inside is better than anybody (the few people that visited my house, I could count on one hand) ever expects it to be, that is, if they can see. (Alright, I turned on the lights for my guests, I'm not that cruel to let them walk onto a knife or something.) It's pitch black to anyone's eyes who aren't trained to the dark, and for a creature that lives completely in the shadows, this is the perfect habitat.

I can make out the huge living room the moment I walk in, the stairwell to the left, an entrance that leads to the kitchen in the back, two other rooms to the right, and a bathroom. All the furniture is red. I took off my shoes and whispered to myself,

"I'm home."

My stairwell led upstairs and downstairs. I went up.

When I went upstairs, a short hall with three doors greeted me; my room, a bathroom, and an extra room that I fill with miscellaneous junk. I went to my room.

It's very simple. There's fluffy white carpet (cashmere, don't ask me how it's possible, I paid at least thirty different organs for it), a black oak bed with white silk sheets, a nightstand, and two closets, black and white. Tastefully spaced out on the walls of my entire house, including my bedroom, are my paintings.

I paint everything, my awakening memories, my past, my dreams, all of it. In my room there are five; a child holding hands with a tall man whose face is hidden, the same child standing over a dead monster, a clown with a white mask and cape, a shadow with a face I do not recognize, and myself, sitting on a throne created by the dead.

Anyways, I collapsed on my bed and checked the clock on my nightstand. 9:53 AM. I opened the drawer of the nightstand and found three things; a jar of petroleum jelly, a hypodermic needle, and a large vial of white, cloudy liquid. I grabbed the needle and filled it up with the contents of the vial (which made a minuscule difference on the amount of content inside) and peeled off my glove on my left hand. It was a sleek black, from my shoulder down to the tips of my fingers. The fingernails were black as ebony and there was a white cross embedded on the back of my hand.

I was originally born with a red, disgustingly textured arm and green cross, but once I started awakening it changed to this. The change was painful and during the process, no Noah could approach me because of some mysterious force that made them want to destroy me, despite the Noah inside of me awakening.

I pressed the tip of the needle to where the vein might be on my arm. Steeling myself, I plunged hard and deep. It struck the bone and I bit my lip till it bled. If I didn't drug myself with the origins on this arm, the numbing sensation never reached it. The skin is extraordinarily hard and if I don't strike hard and reach the bone, the narcotic won't take affect.

I pushed the plunger down and emptied it of its contents. Taking the hypodermic needle out, I could feel an icy feeling that spread from my arm, and it spread chillingly in my bloodstream. When I felt it finally reach my brain, everything became clearer.

I could see everything much more clearly, the room brought into better focus. Bizarre thoughts rushed into my head, impossible to remember, let alone describe. I closed my eyes and immersed myself inside my head, collapsing on the bed.

The needle dropped out of my hand.

I felt free.


	10. Time bomb

**A/N: Okay okay, so thnx for correcting me about Yullen and Arekan, the story's plot changed a lot and since I redid the whole story... Anyways, more reviews! Totally hyped about that and gomen, this chapter is really short but I promise that the next one is going to be super long~ You'll meet some plot next time so look forward to that u gracias to darkie-chan *great job btw* please take a bow~ Okay, reading and review time!**

It was 4:30 AM and I woke to the sound of my digital alarm clock. It was an ordinary block of simple machinery, powered by two triple A batteries and had a small night light button on the top. It was the first gift somebody had ever gotten for me. Bakanda, obviously not a sentimental person, chose this cheap gift five Christmases ago. I could never arrive to school on time (it's not easy judging time in complete darkness) and I mentioned in passing that I didn't have an alarm. I found it, wrapped clumsily with bubble wrap and a note taped on it, shoved in my mailbox. It said, "Come to school on time. -Kanda."

I've been using it every single day ever since.

My thin fingers gently pushed the alarm button down and the simple, yet annoying, beeping noises halted. I shivered, then wrapped my arms around myself. I was wearing the same clothes from two days ago and my body felt frail, as usual. I buried my head in my pillow and rested.

I can't sleep. Without the help of certain narcotics my mind is never at ease, and the few moments of precious, natural rest I get are nightmares that leave me screaming when I wake up. This way, at least I can fade into unconsciousness.

I slowly sat up and rested my legs on the side of the bed. I have things to do.

The first step was to prepare my clothes of the day. I stripped, completely naked, and dropped my clothes to the floor. Walking over to the white closet, it was filled with normal clothes that most people would wear, that is, if they can pull it off (fat people are disgusting, I want to kill them). I chose a white dress shirt, navy vest, grey jeans, and a red ribbon to tie around the collar. Grabbing some black boxers along the way, I scooped my dirty clothes up into my arms and headed towards the bathroom.

It consisted of two separate areas, one for laundry and the other the bathroom itself. I dropped yesterdays clothes in the bin and neatly placed my clean clothes on top of the laundry machine. The tiles felt freezing underneath my bare feet. In complete darkness, I opened the glass shower door, closed it, and turned the water on.

Freezing water instantly enveloped me, a curtain of iciness. I never took hot showers; it reminded me too much of human warmth. I closed my eyes and faintly smiled at the fresh coolness of the temperature, much like walking in the rain. I was quickly soaked from head to toe and I groped at the shelf in the shower wall. My hands found two types of shampoo and 4 different conditioners.

This may be a surprise, but I actually have very tangly hair, brittle and almost impossible. It's the price of having prematurely white hair. Squeezing liberal amounts of shampoo, I purged my hair of the clinging smell of a bar, lathering up and letting the water wash away my sins. When my hair felt cleaner than myself, I loaded it with conditioner, not caring how much I used. It felt greasy at first, but once it was washed away, it left my hair feeling smooth and silky. I enjoy running my fingers through my hair, but after feeling Kanda's, I no longer felt the same satisfaction. It didn't feel as natural, and I kept comparing my hair to his.

He even beat me at the one body part I felt proud of, and that was only its state in the shower. I intensely hated for a few seconds, then lowered the temperature of my shower. It got dangerously cold, cold enough that if I standed there long enough, I could get hyperthermia. I didn't care.

Quickly wiping down my body with a sponge and liquid body soap, I finished cleaning up and dried myself with a fluffy towel. Dried, then dressed, I headed downstairs.

My kitchen was primarily filled with three things; ingredients for dango, bottles and bottles of 1995 Screaming Eagle Cabernet Sauvignon, and pills for bodily essentials. I whipped up ten batches of dango (at least 30 servings), grabbed a bottle of the red wine, and dumped eight large pills that would serve my body's needs. I inhaled the dango, then poured myself a glass.

Red wine is meant to be enjoyed, and my bottles of the same brand and vintage cost me a literal fortune. The rich, velvety taste of black currants forced my eyes closed as my tongue lingered on the subtle taste of raspberries, violets, and a hint of vanilla. It was a thick wine, yet fresh and clear in the mouth. The scent lingered everywhere. I've heard people tell me that I smell good, and this is probably the reason why; anyone who drink enough of this vintage would too. I consumed the whole bottle and downed my pills simultaneously and it left me feeling lucid and awake.

I put everything that needed to be cleaned in the sink and filled it with water; I could clean it later, but the glass, no. After carefully washing my glass with warm, soapy water, I wiped it down with a cheesecloth and put in back in a cabinet, where it fit nicely with the rest of the glasses.

According to my internal clock, it was about 6 and I needed to start and finish my homework. I found my bag on the sofa of my living room, where I left it after I came home from my encounter with Kanda. Unzipping it, I sighed. There were at least six assignments for my classes and an essay to write. It would take about an hour. I moved all my homework to one of the rooms on the right side of the kitchen. It was a study and I lit it by candlelight whenever I had work to do. I plugged in the computer and printer/scanner thing and sat myself down on the chair. Quickly typing up my essays, I printed them out and pulled out the plugs. I flipped through my textbooks and after skimming three days worth of lessons, I penned in the answers to my assignments.

Kanda can't be the only one with photographic memory. It was one of the perks of being a sort-of Noah. I was "blessed", to say, with latent Noah skills since I hadn't fully awoken yet, which included amazing analytic skills, photographic memory, quick healing, and strength.

I neatly put my homework in a clear file and zipped up my bag when I felt it.

It was 7, and that was when_ he woke up._


End file.
